8 Simple Rules

Life is full of shit! And then, it gets worse!

For those who haven't guessed by now, for the lack of reading, I haven't  actually been having "The Time of My Life" for the past, umm, few years. Gawd! If my therapists could see me now! But through all the turmoil that I galantly wade through, or crap I get sucked into, I have learned some very important life lessons. Today, I take it upon myself to do a social service, and duely impart a very small portion of  my hard gained knowledge.

1. Be kind and considerate, even if it kills you, and it probably will. But always remember, just because I'm kind and take your viewpoint into my consideration, it does not imply that I'm a push over or that you can walk all over me. Not anymore!

2. Never miss an opportunity to laugh, especially when you don't want to. I have gone from feeling like a satarical, melodramatic, suicidal ninkampoop to a premenstrual, peri-menopausal pimple faced teenager on a 7-Up binge (Oh yeah!). But the one thing that has kept me on this here planet is the ability to laugh at myself, and with other. It is the one thing that never fails to bring back the optimist. If nothing else, it is a sure way of pissing off your enemies!

3. Always strive to improve yourself. I am Superwoman, but I still can't do everything....at least not all at once. The one thing that always helps to keep people out of trouble is to learn a new skill set or try new experiences. Can't think of anything? Take steps to improve your own health, for he who can take care of himself, will take care of others. I am now contempleting diving, head first, into the wonderful world of hand-painting and finger print forensics, after my marathon training.

4. Never judge others. I have learned, often at the expense of an audience, that people, no matter who, will judge you before you open your mouth, and again, when you do, without even taking the time and energy to get to know you. We all have our stories. We should be grateful we get the opportunity to live them.

5. Trust no one! But always believe in those who really matter! After much deliberation and thought I have come to believe that no one in this world will live your life for you, and the decisions you make will ultimately impact you more than anyone else. But in the process of 'living your life your way' never lose tract of the people who have always stood by your side, especially those who are kind and considerate. Have faith in those few.

6. Have no expectations. This is perhaps the most difficult of the lessons learned. Humans are genetically pre-disposed to expecting something, no matter how small, in return for something done. We live in a world of transactions. It is one of the most liberating ideas...to give without the expectation of receiving anything in return. It is also the most difficult to practice. But please keep in mind, just because I give, doesn't mean I can't stop!

7. Know those who matter. Disassociate yourself from the following people: negative persons, people who don't appreciate you, people who take you for granted, persons who cannot be happy for you. If you sat and thought about all the people you know, there are many who fall into at least one of the above catagories. Think about it. At your very worst, how many people have stuck around, talked you out of annihilating entire generations of the populace? How many can you count on, even if it's just to cheer you up? And who amongst your large entourage of known people, would you stick your neck out for, time and time again, no questions asked? Those are who matter most!

8. Don't give up on love. I was once told that there's no such thing as love, and for the longest time had believed it. But it's just not true. Like the song goes "Love is all around", we just have to open our eyes, hearts, and minds to feel it.