Friday, May 20, 2011

Learning Curve

I feel old, not as an extension of my physiological age, no, that would qualify me for retirement any time soon. I feel vulnerably old, psychologically. Eighteen no longer does the chronological wonders it used to, even in my form hugging size 4 jeans. My Medulla Oblongata seems to have shriveled up to form a sizable disconnect from my cerebrum and the rest of my body. Yeah! I'm stressed!

Last year I enrolled myself into a Master's program, you know, coz I had nothing better to do, and needed to fill the empty hours I was wiling away. Although a distance learning course, the amount of work required seems colossal. Nights are spent staring at pages of familiar information, which seems to need extra effort to assimilate and coherently re-verbalize. I know, I'm using big words too. Why does it feel like I'm struggling to keep up with something that would have been effortless in my youth? Too many extra-curricular activities? (as my father put it). Nah, he obviously missed my teenage years!

Learning is a constant, however trivial. But, isn't too much learning detrimental to one's health? At the moment my learning curve probably looks like a straight line, with very limited knowledge being retained for further use. I wish it was information overload, but apparently it's stress mingled with pre-menopausal hormones (diagnosed by my mother), and a desperate need to be on a year long vacation on my own. Maybe, I'll learn something new on the vacation! Time management may well be an issue, as I juggle school with kids, work, Karate, and the goddess from hell. But it was brought to my attention that I seem to have enough time to read non-educational material, bake cakes, sit at the computer for hours, galavant with friends till the wee hours of the morning, without breaking a sweat. Damn!  I could blame it on the usefulness of the topics I'm supposed to be learning, but, I'm sure they have their place and importance with other students going through the same grind. Perhaps, the apathy rises from my complacency of being habituated with what I've known for so long, that change instills a feeling of fear of failure. Holy crap!! What??

Well, learn I will, even if I have to physically join the ends of my learning curve together. The socks are being pulled up, the glasses are being pushed back. For the cumulative can't dos & won't dos, there is only one reason to keep going.... my progress, my success, my betterment! (okay, that was 3 reasons).

But hey, the biggest push comes when my kids tell their friends, 'Our mom goes to school too.'

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Horrible Housewife!!

I know I'm late celebrating, but honestly I haven't been in much of a mood. Yes, it's that time of the year again. No, not taxes, that's much too exciting. It's been 3 years since I had this baby, and as I've seen it grow over time. I have this uncanny feeling that I too have grown with it. This blog has seriously helped me unleash the dormant monster in me that I knew existed but was too scared to let loose on the world. But hey, you can't save every one. So with that spirit I shall continue the pursuit of bringing to you the gory snippets of my interesting life.

Over the years I have been called many things, most of them not repeatable for the fear of being obscene. The list, however, just grew as my limited skill sets become more apparent to those around me. Let's, for the sake of fun and clarity, review some of my past triumphs.

I have been the unwaivering bitch to those whose points of view I contest. Although this has been a constant feature of my personality, the number of people joining the opinion poll seems to be growing. Being malicious is not a trait I identify with, and will not stoop to that level. However, being a bitch qualifies me to have a good time, and still piss the hell out of people who don't have the balls enough to join me.
I have been touted to be the Daughter-in-law from 'hell and then some'! This one is a matter of (one) personal  opinion, which invariably over-qualifies me to be a bitch. What can I say? Some of are just borne to stardom!
Now to my personal favorite. The world's worst cook. Yes, after slogging and slaving in front of a hot stove, providing nutritious meals to the family, all I get in return are derogatory comments and sometimes looks of pure disgust. So I have come up with a solution...don't cook! One man's rubbish is another man's gold, so go find your own gold (or rubbish, as the case may be).
I haven't been openly called this, but you can always get the vibes. Monster wife! I think this stems off from the total bitch and DIL from hell thing, but I can't be sure, since 'he who will not be named' is smart enough to preserve his still remaining functional body parts.
Bad Mommy! Oh yeah! I have often been labelled the bad mother as my parenting skills include, but are not limited to, playing with my children, many a times in a rough boisterous manner that makes my girls tougher, pushing my kids to do things that most mothers would avoid making their girls do (contact sports, oration, and the likes), refusing to let their hair grow out...coz it looks terrible, screaming & shouting or being extremely openly lovey dovey with them in public. Yes people, I am the mother from the other side of hell, who doesn't believe in pestering her children to do their homework, will let them figure out how to deal with stupid people on their own, and who lets them swim by themselves. I have been told time and time again that my parenting skills, or lack thereof, won't help my kids, that is probably the reason each one of my three girls is top of her class, excels in her chosen sport, and can speak her mind regardless of who stands in front of her. Me, bad mommy!!

The above have been labels unfairly pinned on my early twenty-ish frame, and I, in all honesty, used to resent it till I figured...people are always judgmental and avoid the truth if inconvenient to them. But the new label is something I don't think I am in a position to contest.

I was dumped earlier this month for a younger and better model. Inevitable I suppose. I had hoped that all I had put into the relationship would have made it last, but it was not meant to be. The dependence I had on this being, had made me so complacent that till the day it happened, I kept fooling my self into a false sense of security. Then I was left...all by myself!! This experience did bring out the glaring fact that I am incapable of doing certain things, of keeping things in order as they should be, of juggling 10,000 things simultaneously and looking like Angelina Jolie while doing it. Things fall apart, but I had no idea they would instantly.

I hate my maid for leaving me and making me the horrible housewife!

Where's my Brad Pitt?