Sunday, March 11, 2012

Diseased

I was diagnosed yesterday with a relapse of something I've had in my youth, but somehow it seems to have mutated into a far deadlier form. The doctor, who diagnosed me, was rather curt in bearing the tidings ( probably a double masters or PhD with a core competency in engineering). I, on the other hand, took the news rather well, considering. Yes, my foreseeable life, as I know it, has shortened, but has not ended...yet.

Since the abrupt news, I have been contemplating several things about my life. Could I have prevented this the second time? Could I have lead a more conformed life? Why me? You know, the usual round of denial, anger, ignorance, and so on, till I finally arrived at the last stage, of acceptance. I have a mutated disease that I, and medical science, can no longer do anything about. It isn't a rare condition, just one that most who have it, do not, will not, talk about. Physically I'm pretty much the same, a hot size 4 with buns of steel and fists to match. I don't feel any different than I did yesterday or the day before, except maybe the heightened sense of clobbering someone over the head with a 'stop being a mean bastard' stick, and the occasional well timed gag reflex. Psychologically, however, I've been going through a myriad of emotions that I, as usual, chalked up to 'that time of the month or year or life', but have come to the devastating conclusion, it ain't so!

So, as any 'I'm not a doctor, but I can find out exactly what I've got' kinda person, I researched my condition. The symptoms listed are an exact reflection of what I'm going through, and they are as follows:
1. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is no longer viable.
2. Sudden unprecedented bouts of intolerance to the lowest forms of human beings.
3. Heightened intolerance to abuse, abusers, users, maltreaters, and other such types.
4. Decreased decibel clearance with even lower verbal output.
5. Excessive use of silence, not as a weapon, but for self-control.
6. Precise and exponential use of claimed logic against the user
7. Severe allergic reactions to sheer dumbassed, sociopaths with psychotic abusive tendencies stemming from lineage, and severe mix of ethanol infused logic. Could result in anaphylactic shock of said allergent.
8. Possible hot flashes.

Damn! the last one completely threw me off. I thought that wasn't supposed to happen for another few years. Now, I know I am suffering from the 'say it like it is' disease, addled with the deathly form of extreme sarcastic bitchy-ness. Is there nothing right in this world?

No! So deal with it! I am.


1 comment:

  1. To wear ones heart on ones sleeve is hardly a possibility in todays world.. cos then the world just waits to take advantage of u doesnt it?
    But I love the symptoms... Lol!! ". Excessive use of silence, not as a weapon, but for self-control."

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